Friday, March 16, 2012

Why can't I find a good church???

I don't even know where to start with this blog. This topic is so twisted in my mind these days. It seems like no matter what church I go to, I just can't find a good fit.
And before you say, "Well brother, there is no perfect church!" I want to say, "I am not even looking for a perfect church!", I just want one where it follows the Bible and challenges me to be a better person. These days everyone wants to preach, "name it and claim", "It's your season", "Money cometh", "The check is in the mail" etc...
It's funny but I swear some pastors don't even mention Jesus in the sermon anymore.

-My background-
I came from a Catholic Background. My whole family is majority Catholic and I have an almost limitless collection of memories about my deceased grandmother either praying the rosary or trying to go to every mass available. There was a room in her house with nothing but saint pictures, rosaries and saint statues. As far as being a devout Catholic goes, she was as die hard as it gets. That being said, her influence on the family was very strong and goes without saying. In my mind, none of us would ever come close to the level of Catholic she was, but we all tried to be good Catholics.
When I went to college, my girlfriend started to question some of the Catholic traditions that we practiced. In particular, the limitless devotion Catholics have toward Mary. In my mind however, I didn't see anything wrong with praying to Mary or the "Saints" and I tried to dismiss her arguments and viewpoints as best I could. Overtime, her wanting to be a supportive girlfriend and not cause any strife between us, backed off.
That Christmas she gave me a Bible! I was like cool, It was a King James version bounded in black leather with small print just like I like it. This was the first time I ever really read a King James version Bible aside from my many attempts to understand the Book of Revelation.

-The Change-
It's not like I had an overnight Epiphany or Saul/Paul moment, but I would read a little here and a little there. More and more I began to get consumed with the WORD. However, as I would read, I would notice the Bible would instruct us not to do certain practices that were specifically practiced in the Catholic Religion. Long story short, I left the Catholic church and really have never looked back regardless of what my family thinks or thought.

-The Right Church-
My girlfriend and I started attending a Full Gospel Baptist church for a while. I must say, the music was much better than I experience in the Catholic church.The messages were always uplifting and inspiring but the service was just so long! Lol, coming from the Catholic church most of the time 45mins and you were OUT OF THERE! 1 hour 15 at best, but here, things didn't even get good until about an hour into it.Ah well, I enjoyed it so I guess that was just a little price to pay.
As more time passed by, something in my gut began to tell me this would never be the church for me. The Pastor was young, flashy and hip and slowly I began to hear numerous sources reporting about the indiscretions of the Pastor and other Leaders in that ministry. I wasn't too surprised with this Pastor's actions though so I simply moved to another church.
The next Pastor's ministry I set under a while seemed the exact opposite of the church I just left. Yes, they had the same "Spiritual Father", however their personalities couldn't be further from each other. This church was more family oriented and seemed a bit less showy. The new pastor seemed very humble. He was easily approachable and made a point to remember everyone's name. The church was growing at a moderate rate but everything still felt personal and genuine.
Over time, this church continued to grow into one of the premiere churches in the city. At the same time, it appeared to me that the Pastor's ego had grown the size of the congregation. This Pastor would always ask for money and call out people's names and how much they gave while collecting for the building fund. However he claimed this practice was based on Bible so I didn't question it. Time after time, friends and family members would visit the church and they would immediately be turned off by these practices but I still remained a loyal member.
The Pastor's wife was a big time promoter in the city as well. One of their big money makers was the Tyler Perry plays. I remember they would always say "Membership has it's privileges", because we would be able to buy tickets from them supposedly at a slight discount with better seat selection. However, it wasn't until I found out that they made money off of making sure a certain amount of seats were sold that my alarms went off. During that time I was also exposed to the ministries of two people that have ultimately remolded how I view church and most of these crooked pastors: Pastor Tony Smith and Pastor G. Craig Lewis.

-Where there is smoke there is fire-
Youtube is an amazing vessel. It reminds me of the Matrix because you can literally see and learn just about anything on there. I don't remember what specifically brought me to Pastor Smith's videos but I remember thinking this guy was off of his rocker. He clips were amazingly funny and controversial however the more I would listen to him preach, the more I would get convicted and think he was right about alot of things. "Why don't these pastors preach about hell and sin? Why are these messages seemingly only about the money? Why isn't anyone teaching about living the Holy life?" Then one day, he made a comment about these pastors playing Jesus in the Easter plays and things of that nature. This hit home because I used to play JESUS for years in the local Passion of Christ play we did at the church. And for those years people in the church would refer to me as Jesus and alot of the younger kids actually believed I was Jesus!!! I know Hindsight is 20/20 but that is not cool, and something is wrong with that. The Bible tells us not to make graven images or create/worship images of His likeness. So I could immediately see the wisdom of this scripture come to life. Yes, I am a follower of Christ and I try to be a good dude but I have many flaws and I fall far short of His Majesty and grace. I was beginning to be torn apart.

-The Truth Behind Hiphop-
Pastor G. Craige Lewis' (Exministries) truth behind hip hop dvds were the knockout blow. As I watched these dvds I felt I had learned so much. So many questions I had began to make sense. Pastor Lewis talked about the influence music has on one's spirit, the illuminati, demons, the influence of the world on the church, why hip hop should not be let into the church, etc... In my spirit I knew, I had to give these dvds my Pastor. In my spirit, I felt God warn me that he wouldn't be very receptive to these dvds because alot of the stuff talked about came down my Pastor's street. However, I never would have thought that would have been the beginning of the end of my time under that ministry. As a Christian, I felt iron is supposed to sharpen iron however when I asked him what he thought about the dvds all he could say was that he didn't agree with somethings and that people always have something to say about stuff. And instead of engaging me in a direct conversation about the issues and discussing the topics atlength, he chose a New Years Eve service to make a comment in passing from the pulpit which I felt was directed at me. Later, the youth group came up to perform a "holy" hiphop song but NONE of the youth in the congregation were feeling it. They looked bored and just stared at the guys waiting for the performance to end. It was as if the Truth Behind Hip Hop message about keeping the hip hop out of the church had just been confirmed!
After I left that church, I began hearing that the majority of the old members including leadership had moved on as well. Many marriages are struggling and falling apart there but the main priority seemed aimed at buying property and increasing membership. I could go on and on about the problems at this church but it isn't necessary, I just can't help but wonder, did the Pastor change with the church's growth? Or was he always showing his hand and I was just too blind to see it?

-I guess I'll keep looking-
Either way, that was the last church I belonged too. As I have matured as a Christian, I simply can not go back to the same foolish I have come from under. Time and time again, we try new churches but if the Pastor and First Lady aren't singing beyonce' or begging for all of your money, they are preaching the same old season, harvest, blessing, check in the mail messages you see on the tv everyday. I look at a lot of these pastors as nothing more than MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS!
If you want to be a motivational speaker that is fine, but please, please, say that from the beginning. Personally, I want to be taught the Bible. Teach me something I don't know. Apply the word to current events. Break down the Book of Revelations. Talk about the Return of Christ. Challenge me to be a better father, a better person Don't call yourself a prophet if you are only saying "The money is coming." The Prophets from the Bible spoke warnings to the people.
Personally, I am tired of seeing these pastors manipulate their sheep. I am tired of the pimps in the pulpit. I am tired of the child molesting, sleeping with every woman and/or man in here, pastors and bishops. Yes, no man is perfect but there was a time when being a man of God was supposed to mean something. I guess until I can find what I need I'll continue to listen to the True Church Perspective by G. Craige Lewis. Atleast this brother is sincere, follows God, and I can truly say challenges me to do better. Now if I can only find that here...

Sorry to type so much, I guess this had been building up inside me for a while.
-Just my 2 Cents

Upgrade 2012

Hello everyone,

I have been away from the blog for a while and finally decided I would make a return.
You will notice a slightly new design which I hope will bring some organization and enhance your viewing experience here. If you appreciate the content please feel free to comment and share this blog with your friends and social media!

I am still making tweaks and adjustments to the site so please pardon my progress for a while!
Thanks again.
-MB